1 Peter 2:23-24, 3:1, 7 – “…while being abusively insulted, He did not insult in return; while suffering, He did not threaten, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24 and He Himself brought our sins in His body up on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live for righteousness; by His wounds you were healed…3:1 In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives…7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”
Transformed marriages begin with transformed hearts and minds in accordance with God’s Word. Every married person has to work daily at focusing on Christ’s example and willingness to help if they are to love like Him for the glory of God.
Jesus revealed the power of the Holy Spirit to us when He, who was without sin, died for the sinful abusers He had given life to rather than take them out. Instead of being overcome by sin, reflecting its ugliness back, Jesus overcame sin by trusting His Father to be the judge, reflecting God’s love back. Since Jesus overcame, we too can overcome with His help and example, when we trust God to do what is right rather than taking vengeance into our own hands.
The Apostle Peter, under the influence of the Holy Spirit, brings us the sobering reminder that if we want to be right with God, we must do everything in our power to be right with one another. The Holy Spirit gives us insight into how to be the most influential to the opposite gender. Husbands, work to understand where your wife is coming from. The issue is often not the issue; there is a root issue you need to patiently get to with gentleness that honors her as a daughter of the Most-High God. Wives, you are not likely going to win your husband over with a lot of emotionally charged words. Men are influenced best through loving actions that convict them of their own unloving ones.
Has your heart been wounded by your spouse? Christ went to the cross to heal the wounds you created in God’s heart with your sin. Let Jesus’ wounds lead your heart to Him in prayer and He will help heal you of your heart wounds and minister through you to your spouse. This does not mean remaining under physical or emotional abuse. God strengthens us to show appropriate love and sometimes that means separating ourselves altogether from a person to hopefully sober them unto repentance.
Heavenly Father, my Lord Jesus Christ, help me to love, pray for, and bless my spouse even when they feel like an enemy. I thank you for self-control when my buttons are pushed. Help me to be a peacemaker, continually leading by your example in my marriage. Amen.